Ep. 18 – Adoption will take us to the very core of our belief system.

It will challenge everything about your belief system and you have to be prepared for that. Whether you’re in it, thinking about it, have been through it, the most important thing is to not let go of your faith.

Friends & family will fail us during our journey but we can’t let that be where we camp. We have to take another breath, another step, do another day. Sometimes that doesn’t come easy and we have to tell our minds to “get in line!”

In this podcast I share some self-care ideas as well as some encouragement for those in the battle.

Hope you enjoy!


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Ep. 18 - Full Transcription

Kam (00:01.89)
So recently I was at a women’s conference and the verse of that conference was to keep your mind renewed. It’s Ephesians 4.23 and the New Living Translation says, be made new in the attitude of your minds. And I like that version, but I definitely like the amplified version better, which is

to be continually renewed in the spirit of your mind, having a fresh, untarnished mental and spiritual attitude. This is one of those verses that is good in context as well as outside of context. And both as parents and as women, I think it’s a good verse to have in our tool belts. As an adoptive parent going through a hard journey, I think that it’s especially important.

Kam (01:04.326)
Our minds will let us down. Mine would go into overdrive and hypersensitivity constantly imagining the worst scenario played out and I still wrestle with this sometimes even though the threats in our house have been removed for months. It’s still an issue that I have to deal with and still something that I have to kind of bring into submission basically.

In the Old Testament, King David actually would tell his soul to release his spirit to praise the Lord. And this is also something that I’ve had to do is basically tell my mind to get in line and to stop going to these worst case scenarios or to be looking for the lies or the threats or the death threats, that kind of thing. So

Sometimes we have to do that. We need to stay focused on Jesus. He will help us through the journey. He won’t take it away. That’s not what he does, but he will help guide us through it.

Kam (02:20.078)
and we have to be careful if we allow our minds to go to those places because those aren’t healthy places to be going. Adoption will take us to the very core of our belief system. It will take you, it will challenge everything about your belief system and you have to be prepared for that. Whether you’re in it, thinking about it, have been through it, the most important thing is don’t let go of him.

He sees you, he wants you to tell him, show him. He wants you to tell him when you’re mad, when you’re sad, you’re hurt, all of it. He wants you to tell him when you’re happy. He wants to hear all of it. Just don’t let go of him. For the longest time I had on my computer screen, the wallpaper, I had, it was,

a female soldier that I had found and if I’ll I’m sure I still have it on my computer and I will share it on my website. But she was in a suit of armor it was an old obviously old fashioned battle scene. She’s wearing armor but she’s beaten up she’s bruised she’s tired she’s actually kneeling on the battlefield. She’s got her sword that she’s leaning on she’s just tired. And for the longest time that was how I felt. I felt like I was still in the battle but I’m just laying on the field like just somebody come along and finish the job because I’m tired of fighting. And I felt like anytime something happened it was the enemy coming up and just kicking me while I was laying there. But I never left the battle and I think that’s the danger right now and the reason that there are so many issues that we have to deal with as we go through the journey and why it’s so hard is because so many people have left the battle.

They’ve taken their armor and they’ve walked off because it’s easier. It’s absolutely easier to walk off and say I’m done. I quit. But to stay in the battle for many reasons because of adoption because of our children, because of our marriages to stay in the battle. We do it because we have friends who are there fighting along with us. We do it because the whole system is broken and needs to change. But if we don’t continue to fight, then none of that is worth it, worth anything. And everything that we’ve been through has been for what?

So I just encourage you, don’t let go of him. Don’t let go of Jesus’ hand. Stay in the battle. Even as hard as it gets, reach out for help. I know, I know, I know that there are so, so many issues with this. And this is something that I’ll address in another podcast, probably one coming up. I’ve been thinking about some of the issues.

I know that there are issues with trying to find help. And I understand that. I know that there are people who don’t believe you. I understand that. God sees you. I see you. I’m praying for you. Reach out and we will try to figure out something. For the longest time, I kept trying to reach out for help and I just kept getting

told go to this person, go to this person, go to that person. So I get it. I understand. Just don’t give up. And I just want to encourage you not to give up. So sometime today and whether you are currently kind of that breath to breath or if you’re able to, if you’re outside of that breath to breath challenge.

you’re able to live day by day. Either way, I want you to do something today that is for you that will kind of renew your mind, that will refocus your mind. Whether it’s buying a small treat or have a pumpkin spice latte today in the afternoon, not in the morning. Go for a long drive, go for go drive through your favorite neighborhood or your favorite park.

Kam (07:15.07)
And what I want you to do is breathe deeply. Take that breath deep, not the short survival breaths that you normally take. I want you to breathe in deep, let it out deep. And do a couple of those. That will help your mind to refocus and remember what it is that we are doing, what it is that we are fighting for. And when

When somebody asks why, or if your mind asks why, why are you doing this? Because it will or it has. I’ve been there too. And you’re questioning. I totally understand it. The Father sees you, and I want you to remember that this was the whole reason for the gospel, this was the whole purpose that Jesus did what he did on the cross was for adoption.

It was for our adoption. So of course we’re going to have battles and it’s absolutely easy for me to say, because I’m a day to day at this point. Like I said, my threats have been removed from the house and I strictly do them. I handle those situations with somebody else in a different.

environment is taking care of those threats for me. So I, but I have been there and I know what it’s like to have security cameras. I know what it’s like to have Sharpie objects locked up under surveillance. I understand and it’s very easy for me to tell you now that but

I also said it when I was in the deep, when I was in the biggest hole I have ever been, that this is the gospel. So I stay in the battle, and I have been refreshed. I have been, I have rested, at least some. I am still in somewhat of a battle, but I’m still in the fight. And if it’s not…

Kam (09:42.998)
worth anything but to hear well done from the father then it’s been worth it. And I want you to also tell your mind that it’s worth it and I want you to tell it who’s boss and I want you to remind yourself that you have not failed, that you are not a failure, that you’re not crazy.

and that somebody does believe in you and somebody is praying for you. There’s probably more than you realize because the voices that come against us are the loudest, but there are people praying for you and love you and see you, and I’m one of them. And I want to tell you how much I appreciate you, and I know right now you’re probably rolling your eyes if you’re in the breath to breath.

but that’s okay. Someday you won’t be, someday you will be in the day to day. And we will be there to help you to kind of get through the next steps. So I love you all. I am praying for you. Reach out if you want and I hope you guys have a great weekend. Enjoy your Thursday.