Ep. 06 – How to Increase Your Positivity

[00:00:00] Kam: Hello, my friends and welcome into episode six of the maker space. I hope you’ve been having a good week. So far, I have had a good week with not great things happening. And just to kind of explain, I have been able to get some things done this week that I haven’t been able to, but then I’ve also dealt with broken furnace, stuff like that.

[00:00:27] Kam: Ultimately, we just live in a broken world. And it can be challenging and we have to do things to get or stay positive. And that is the focus of the episode this week. I want to talk about staying positive in a negative world. And we all know that there is plenty of negativity to go around.

[00:00:49] Kam: This wasn’t really an issue for me. I am a, what Myers Briggs calls an ENF P. And so trying to stay positive or become positive was not a normal issue. Up until a few years ago. 2020 made it pretty hard and I’m sure a lot of you can relate to that.

[00:01:14] Kam: And I know I have mentioned in previous episodes that we adopted a sibling group a few years ago and they all have their struggles. But 2020 made it so much harder. I’m sure a lot of you can kind of understand where I’m coming from with that too. Some of you parents even have not adopted child of biological children. They struggled to.

[00:01:40] Kam: And some of these kids when they’re relying on a routine of life, and then all of a sudden that routine is gone. There’s only so much free time you can have. And that routine is stability for so many. And in this world, when that routine is taken away, it can really cause wreak havoc to be quite honest.

[00:02:03] Kam: I’ve always been pretty optimistic. I joke about being a unicorn, farting glitter. And my kids know that I love unicorns. And so I have a number of them around my office. And for the most part it’s true. I believe all things will work out somehow and for the better and that includes adopting three children that had huge trauma issues and we’re, we were just so ill ill-equipped that it really took a toll on me and my attitude and my positivity.

[00:02:40] Kam: And when I realized that my attitude was not fixing their problems. That they needed more than that, that they have mental issues that I just can’t hope and wish that they will go away and everything will be fine. And I can’t make cookies and it’ll all be better. So I had to discover some of the things that kind of brought back my positivity. Or at least, uh, at the very least. Kept it from getting lost because that’s, it can be easy to do

[00:03:17] Kam: Negative attitude can kind of pull us down. It’s very easy to be more negative than it is to be positive when we just kind of go into a situation expecting the worst, then we’re not disappointed. Right. And so to have a positive outlook. It’s a lot more healthy for us, but it is the, the harder of the two.

[00:03:44] Kam: But ultimately that is what gets us from today until tomorrow. And so I just wanted to talk about some of the things that I have discovered helps to bring back my positive outlook, I guess you

[00:04:03] Kam: First and foremost, I also want to say that I am not a doctor. And so if you are seriously depressed, if you are depressed or having anxiety, please go to a doctor, please go and have that checked out. Don’t be ashamed of, you know, Having those issues.

[00:04:25] Kam: There are chemical imbalances in the brain that can affect that. When I was 10, my mom actually had to go through that. And it was just kind of all of a sudden and she got some medication helped her kind of get balanced, but. Yeah, that would not have happened. Um, had she not gone to the doctor. So please, if you have serious issues,

[00:04:54] Kam: even if they’re, if you don’t think they’re serious, like. Just go check it out. It’s better to go. And talk to somebody than to, for, you know, for you to ignore it. And there’s something seriously going on. Um, and. We’re there’s a lot of support for that now. So. Which I have learned through the last few years.

[00:05:19] Kam: So my first one of course would be crafting. And creating something, something just for fun, not for a business, not for. Um, anything other than for your enjoyment? I mean, obviously, if you, so, because you enjoy it. Uh, that’s and that’s your business then by all means, but try to not get the business involved on this. Uh, if it’s just something that you need, if you’re having a bad day

[00:05:52] Kam: And you just kind of need something uplifting, just go make something for yourself. Or go make something for it to give to somebody else. It just kind of activates a total different part of the brain. And to me. I actually almost have just as much fun going through some of the boxes of my stuff. And remembering the things that I am going to create some

[00:06:23] Kam: You know, most of us crafters have those Or have those I have seen some rooms on Instagram. Holy smokes you guys you’re some serious. Uh, collectors. But great stuff with the organization. Yikes. It makes me not want to ever show pictures of my little studio slash office. I’m kind of jealous. Maybe when the kids start moving out, I can.

[00:06:52] Kam: Change one of the bedrooms into a sewing room and have one of you guys come into that for me. Cause you guys do amazing. But the other thing is. You can always watch. I always like to watch movie is state of juices going. And some of the movies that I like to watch and don’t laugh. Uh, because some of these are old.

[00:07:11] Kam: His baby boom is probably one of my most favorites. It’s with Diane Keaton and it’s probably. 30 years old. But it’s super sweet. Like she inherits this baby. And I mean, it’s not like a newborn, she’s all enough to say mama, but. If you haven’t seen it, she moves to the country. She takes her little baby and she uh, eventually creates this line of baby food and it’s just super cured. It’s super sweet. And corsets basically like the first hallmark

[00:07:51] Kam: Which I will say. I also like that because there’s so many women in those movies that have started a bakery. Or a pumpkin patch or an apple orchard. And yep. I love all of that stuff. So. Uh, any hallmark movies I get in. I get inspiration from. Another would be sweet home, Alabama, that It’s a romantic movie, but she you know, out there making it on her own as a designer. Uh, clothing designer. And then she just figures out how to make it work from the small town.

[00:08:29] Kam: And it’s funny because I know there’s this whole romantic side to it, which that’s. You know, part of the cute storyline, but ultimately it’s about uh, the girl making it work. Another one would be the intern that one’s a newer movie. Um, Thank you have her name right now. I’ll think but, and then another old movie would be the working girl with Melanie Griffith and I’m pretty sure I’m aging myself.

[00:09:05] Kam: That one and that one, I usually will just kind of jump to the end because again, it’s this gal who is trying to I kind of get ahead and she is. Yeah, I’ll just let you watch it anyway. Um, I probably wouldn’t watch that though, with any of the kids around.

[00:09:23] Kam: That one’s probably not appropriate for little people. Um, So anyway, that’s my list of favorite inspirational movies. So I hope. Uh, just try one of those out or any of, like I said, any of the hallmark movies, especially with, uh, right now at the time of recording this, it is November. So any of the Christmas movies will be coming out so that’ll be fun.

[00:09:49] Kam: And so my, my next suggestion for keeping the positivity in a negative world. Don’t listen to the negative. And I know this sounds impossible as well as simple, but the thing is. I don’t watch the news. So it’s possible to avoid some of this. I do keep up to speed on things just simply because I do have people in my life who can’t avoid watching the news. And so they’ll kind of clue me in.

[00:10:27] Kam: My husband is one of them. He likes to kind of stay up to date and the news doesn’t really affect him as much as it does me. And so I’m just aware of that, Most of the news just frustrates me and makes me sad. So I don’t watch it. So I would caution that.

[00:10:46] Kam: And then the S the, the next. Tip that I would have is avoiding negative people. There’s avoiding the negative news, but then there are people They kind of live by the negativity. And I know my aunt does a lot of craft shows and we went to visit her one time. And she was so cute she was talking about how she was having a good time and. And having a successful craft show, but the vendor next to her who had some beautiful items on her, in fact, I, I haven’t bought something from her, but I probably will not ever buy anything again.

[00:11:32] Kam: Because she is she’s she, like, there was nothing. Good that she said, and everything was discouraging and negative and it was. The craft show was not, you know, as she had hoped and she didn’t, she wasn’t where she wanted to be. And. The sales weren’t good. And this and that. And my aunt said that she w she had been like that all weekend.

[00:11:56] Kam: And so that’s kind of a bummer for people to be around. So try to avoid those people too. And you know, when you’re kind of stuck at a craft show with them, It’s hard to avoid them, but we can also be positive. In light of their attitude and maybe try to sway them to the other side. So they’re not just constantly negative.

[00:12:22] Kam: So that’s also something that we want to be careful when we’re around other people, how we are coming across. Are you picking up, maybe the negativity that other people are carrying. Which isn’t good either. And I will find myself doing that depending on the situation. It’s like, wait a minute. I don’t really find this that bad. So I will try to kind of throw something positive and some people just, honestly, they can’t be a suede and those are just people to avoid, to be honest. Love them from afar .

[00:12:57] Kam: So my next tip for staying positive is go outside. Get out of your four walls. Uh, stop looking at the same thing. Go out, breathe the fresh air. See the sun. See the sky. Look at a tree. Crunch through the leaves. If you have leaves that fall off the trees where you live. Go out and crunch around in them.

[00:13:20] Kam: Something that we used to do is as kids we don’t as adults and that’s kind of sad. I know that. There’s a gal that I follow on Instagram and I’ll have to, Link her in the show notes, but. She heard she’s building a business on play adult play. And just going back and being like a kid. If you want to dress in goofy clothes, then do that. If you want to color, if you want go down the slide, do it. And. So when you’re outside. Go to the park.

[00:13:54] Kam: That it’s one way to get exercise, which is my next tip. Go for a walk or run. Get your body moving. And trust me on this. I am not an exercise guru. I don’t really like to exercise. But. I have found that when I get up and go outside and go for a little walk. I do feel better. And I even have I, a dog, I have a German shepherd and they’re high maintenance. They’re high exercise. And so every probably couple of hours, she will. Need to go outside and just run around and exercise.

[00:14:35] Kam: Which is good for me because that gets me up and out and I have to go and exercise her, get her outside. And so. I also have ducks. That I adore. They are so cute. If you can get a peak in dark I recommend Pekin ducks. They’re super cute. They’re super fun to watch waddle around the yard. Now if you live in town, You probably can’t get a duck. So I’m sorry for Because there

[00:15:09] Kam: They are on YouTube, but you can and find duck videos and just watch them all day long. They’re kind of a riot, but to go out and feed them, make sure they have fresh water. That also gets me outside. So even if you have to come up with some excuse, Like a dog, you know, to go and take them outside and, and that kind of thing.

[00:15:33] Kam: I strongly recommend that. It just, if you go outside, especially early in the morning, they’ve kind of proven that it activates hormones stuff in the brain. Maybe somebody can comment for me because I don’t know the scientific part of it, but I do know that it increases your productivity and positivity. If you go out in the morning. And see the sun. And I’ll be honest with y’all. Other like with the exercise thing. I don’t like to go out in the morning. I live where it’s cold.

[00:16:09] Kam: And in the dead of winter, I live where the cold hurts my face. And I don’t want to go outside. But I bundle up and I will take the dog And it does do something for me once I get outside, then I remember, oh yeah, this actually is

[00:16:30] Kam: So another thing for that, if you are having a bad day, sometimes going for a walk like that can. It doesn’t have to be for positive. There can just to be you Releasing frustration too, because I’ve had those. I have gone down the road and thrown rocks. Not at houses or anything, but if you’ve ever seen the forest Gump movie there is a scene in there where his friend is throwing rocks at her old childhood home. And she collapses and he makes the comment, the narrator the says sometimes they’re just not enough rocks.

[00:17:08] Kam: And sometimes you’re going to have those days and that’s okay too. Don’t throw rocks at people. Don’t throw rocks and you know, public property. But sometimes even if you can get to a park and throw a rock at a tree or you know, in the river, that kind of thing. And just get some frustrations. Release. Um, that’s good too. At least you’re getting outside. Great.

[00:17:37] Kam: My next tip would be we have an Aldi that is close to us, which is a grocery store. And they keep their costs down by. Uh, making it, so you have to put a quarter in, and I know that this is actually something in a lot of countries. You have to put a quarter in to get the card out, and then you get your quarterback when you return the cart. So it reduced the fact that you now. You know, some of these big places have carts all over the parking lot and they have to pay somebody to go out and catch all of them and it’s dinging up cars. And so they’re paying insurance and all of that wonderful.

[00:18:17] Kam: So this is my next tip. Leave a car. Uh, I’m sorry, leave a quarter in the cart return. I pay for someone’s gas or if you can afford to pay SCAs, which I totally understand right now, you can even buy a $10 gift card or something and just walk up and hand it to somebody and say, Hey, put this on your gas bill.

[00:18:37] Kam: Or. Another thing would be texts, somebody that you haven’t talked to in awhile and just say, hi, I’m thinking of you. Post a funny gIF on, is it GIF or Jif? GIF? It’s G I F what do you, what do you call it? What do you guys think it is? Is it GIF? That’s what I call it. Anyway One of those funny one on a friend’s social media. Just tell him, you know, I’m thinking about you. Do something for somebody because they’ve, they’ve proven that. I don’t know who they are.

[00:19:08] Kam: This. Scientific people. Have proven that when you do something for somebody else, it actually gets your mind off of things that are bothering you and bringing you down. So, and we forget that other people have bad days too. So when we do stuff like this, Holy smokes. Like I can’t tell you how many times that has happened to me.

[00:19:32] Kam: In fact, I just got one the other day. I was on my way somewhere that I really didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to do what I was going to have to do. And a friend reached out and just told me that I had been on her heart and it made me cry. I had to pull over and I messaged her back and I told her, thank you. And just that little message, just to remind people that you’re thinking about What that does to other people is huge. Just Human connection. We are just so lacking right now. So I, think that’s such a great idea to remember somebody else.

[00:20:09] Kam: Another thing to keep our positivity when we are feeling negative is drink something warm. I love coffee, however, I don’t like to, to taste it. So I basically cover it in creamer. And I also like warm tea. And hot chocolates and a couple episodes ago, I was telling you about our shaved ice trailer. Which doesn’t work very well when you live where the air hurts your face in the winter. So I thought that it would be a great idea to come up with something that we could do on the off season type of thing. And so I created a hot chocolate blend, I guess you could say.

[00:20:52] Kam: And it’s basically Ghirardelli is white chocolate. And then with almond milk. And you can get the floppy mix. Mix to that works, but if you get the white chocolate, you can color it and you can make it blue and you could call that your mermaid hot chocolate. If you make it purple, just use a food coloring. You can make that your hot chocolate dragon or something like that, put sprinkles on it, whipped cream. You can make that thing amazing. You could put lots of colors.

[00:21:22] Kam: I wouldn’t put yellow. That’s not a real big, popular color for a you know, middle of the winter type drink, it just looks weird. But just sit down with, you know, comfy clothes on pajamas slippers. Drink something warm, even if it’s just warming up milk. That’s that’s actually pretty good. But definitely check out the Ghirardelli’s hot chocolate mix. That’s actually really good. And I think you can get it in. You might be able to get it in Walmart or target. If it, if you have one near you, otherwise you can get it online.

[00:22:01] Kam: But that was definitely a fun way to use our shaved ice trailer too. It was just really cold when we had to deliver it. So, but. It was kind of You know, just to kind of sit there with the hot chocolate and the twinkling lights and the Christmas and that kind of thing.

[00:22:23] Kam: My next tip for keeping positive is having a prayer time or a quiet time. There’s quite a few times that I’ll be outside with our dog and letting her kind of run around and everything. And sometimes I do pray and sometimes I’m just quiet and I just kind of let the thoughts go. I don’t. Think about things. I just kind of step away. And I know a lot of you that are listening are parents and that’s not always easy to do and I get that and that’s okay. You can be. Kind of praying in your own, Space. It doesn’t have to be quiet. But if, if at any point you can get away. And have that time just to kind of breathe. And regroup, I guess, is the best way to put it. That it just does an amazing thing for your attitude.

[00:23:17] Kam: Another thing you can do is having positive confessions. And I am huge on this. when we speak positively over our lives and over ourselves, it’s it does something to your soul. And so I would say, and this was one thing that I had to honestly force myself when I was when I was kind of in the deepest part of negative over the last few years. I would still surround myself with verses that I love quotes that I love. And I would either have them on the screensaver of my phone, on my computer. I would print them out.

[00:23:56] Kam: I have stuff stuck to my wall on my office. That is just a reminder. That. other people have gone before and had hard times hard days. And they made it through. And this is something that they learned, or this is something that you can utilize while you’re going through it. I love stuff like that. And I just think that it’s, you know, you can stick it to your bathroom mirror. You can put it on your refrigerator.

[00:24:20] Kam: Just have these reminders of. things that you can do and hold on to in the times where. You just don’t know if you’re going to. Be able to hold on to anything. So then when you come. Kind of come out of that and you can be in a positive place. You can use that for other people. you can kind of develop a grateful spirit that remembers those verses and can look back and say, yep, that works.

[00:24:53] Kam: Having also good friends around you that help you with those bad days and those bad times. Now I will say not everybody wants to listen to us. When we are in our lowest moments, our worst. Because sometimes people just don’t know how to help us and that’s okay. Let those people go and find the people that are willing to sit with us as we ugly cry.

[00:25:18] Kam: Or will sit with us and listen to us ramble on about the same thing that’s been bothering us for the last six months, but they’re patient. And they they, maybe they understand, maybe they’ve already gone through something or they’re going through something too. I have a friend right now that we use the app called Marco polo, which I love by the way.

[00:25:42] Kam: If you have never used Marco polo on your phone, it’s basically like video texting it’s I’m not really sure how to explain it, but it’s super cute. You don’t have to respond right away. You don’t even have to watch the video right away. But it’s something you can do quick. And so we’re able to go back and forth on these Markopolos and it’s almost actually kind of a joke now. Um, my husband asks if I’ve Marco polo today, I’m like, well, yeah.

[00:26:10] Kam: But it’s just somebody that I know I can jump on and be like, yep. I need to blah, blah, blah. And she’ll just either sit and listen to me or she’ll respond later and that’s okay. And it’s okay to just have maybe one or two friends and it’s also okay that it might not be your spouse. Obviously you want to take stuff to them and your spouse those are the people that have our heart, but if they’re going through stuff as well, Or if they see you’re hurting and they love you the most and they don’t know how to help you and they don’t know how to fix it. They may not be able to, be that person that you can always kind of vent to.

[00:26:57] Kam: that’s why having good girlfriends around. Just to, Like I said, just to listen to maybe not fix it and just be like, well, today socks. But you know, it won’t always be that way. That’s something to that we have to just remember that we will have bad days. We will have, you know, bad like we may not even have a bad day. It may just be, Like with my week, my week hasn’t been bad. I’ve just had sucky things that have happened.

[00:27:26] Kam: I know that next week is different. Tomorrow is different. Tomorrow is another opportunity. It’s another chance to do something. Two get something done or to be an impact to somebody or to learn Tomorrow’s another opportunity.

[00:27:42] Kam: Tomorrow’s also an opportunity that we can get reallyout of our own comfort zone to get out of our own way. And kind of like that gal that I listened to, or I’m sorry that I follow on Instagram, that she does the adult playing. It’s kind of fun to see her go back and forth. And she struggles with her own perfectionism and things have to look a certain

[00:28:05] Kam: No, it doesn’t. If you have a goofy outfit that you really like wearing, and other people have made fun of you. You can just wear it around the house, but you like it. You wear it. We live within hours of Minneapolis. And if you go to Minneapolis at the mall of America, it’s huge. And it’s also right across the, literally right across the highway from the international airport.

[00:28:31] Kam: And so there is like their personalities everywhere, different personalities, different styles, different everything. And I knew if I wore the craziest leggings that I have. That it didn’t matter. I could rock those crazy leggings and I did. And I had a good time because I was never going to see those people And so I had fun doing that and just being goofy. Try to do that, just kind of be silly. Even if you’re by yourself. Kind of let yourself go. just let it out sometimes. Especially if you have little people, they love that. They’re going to love seeing mom be silly.

[00:29:10] Kam: Another thing that we can do is eating good food. And again, I am not an exerciser. I do like a good Reese’s peanut butter cup or cookie, or right now have a chocolate sitting on my desk. I love a good piece of pie. I’m making myself But junk food is not going to make you happy. There’s no way I could stay away from them, myself. But don’t just eat junk food. Be sure that you’re getting carrots that I not specifically the carrots. Vegetables, fruits, be sure that you’re getting protein. Don’t just eat the cookies and the cakes and all that kind of stuff. Because that is easy to do when you’re not in a good place and you’re feeling kind of beat up by everything is to Get ice cream.

[00:30:01] Kam: My final thought for staying positive is to do the best you can with what you have. This is one of my mantras. And sometimes you’re going to have days where you just, you have nothing like you want to stay in bed and let the world go on. for a little bit that’s okay. But ultimately there is somebody who knows that you’re there. That knows where you are, who you are.

[00:30:27] Kam: You have come into contact with somebody who remembers you. That you have made an impact on somehow. It could be a lot of people. It could be one person. I don’t know everybody’s situations, but somebody needs you to get up, do what you were made and called to do. You are wonderfully made. Somebody is thinking about you.

[00:30:50] Kam: Every day is different. even right now, You are one of my listeners So I know you’re there. And I’m praying for you. Thinking about you and I’m believing for you I want you to succeed. I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to be as positive as you can, because there’s so much negative and there’s so much coming at you and we won’t be able to always have a smile. And enjoy what we’re doing. But we can take moments. And we can take those and we can stockpile them.

[00:31:20] Kam: When we’re doing, especially in online business, or any parenting even, when somebody who says something negatively about us or to us it affects us. Usually. It affects me anyway. And I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. And I have to come back to the things that can turn it around and do, make me smile and do bring back the positive. And I have to refocus realize that not every voice is that voice and not every voice is that loud. And some of the voices are the smallest and the ones that we can’t hear all the time and we don’t listen to all the time. But those are the ones that build us up, and those are the ones that we have to give time to.

[00:32:05] Kam: I just hope this has been an encouragement to you. I do want you to know that I am thinking about you. Let me know how your business is going or how I can pray for you. We will talk soon. See you next week. Thanks so much for joining me.