Doesn’t have children
They don’t have more than one child or
They are not the primary caregiver
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Ep. 01 - Full Transcription
[00:00:00] Kam: Welcome to the very first podcast of the Maker’s Space, a podcast to encourage moms building both a family and a business. I’m Kam Ostwald, wife, first, Mom, to 6, 3 biological and three adopted, and also a business owner of an online agency where I work specifically with web designers and podcast creators.
[00:00:27] Kam: Welcome to the Maker’s Space.
[00:00:29] Kam: Lately I’ve come to realize that there are some amazing people with six and seven figured businesses doing podcasts, and I’ve been listening to quite a few of those podcasts and trying to learn from them and get wisdom from them and tips on how to run my business and I keep listening to them thinking, What is it that I’m doing wrong?
[00:00:56] Kam: Why can I not get a handle on my business? Why can’t I get control of my time when I’m trying to implement all of these time management tips and everything that they’re doing that they’re telling me to do, is not working. I discovered that none of these amazing and wonderful people are in the same situation that I am.
[00:01:24] Kam: They have either no children at all, or they have maybe one child or maybe a stepchild or something to that effect, but they’re not the primary caregiver in the house, and that does make a difference. So I decided that I wanted to do a podcast to just to reach out and talk to those moms who are just, they’re trying, They’ve got it in their heart to start a business and run a business, but they also wanna be a good mom.
[00:02:00] Kam: And that’s a tough place to be because you’re pulled two different directions. But I am here to tell you, you can do both. You are not going to give both your a hundred percent of you and you that’s okay. But I just wanted to come on this podcast, give you some tips, let you know I’m here for you. I see you, I believe in you, and together we can make this happen.
[00:02:34] Kam: It’s tough, and the road is tough just in parenting, but when you’re trying to build a business as well, especially when you’re trying to build it while your kids are growing thinking when they leave the nest and when they fly away and it’s just me and him or, uh, it’s just us too, and he’s out working and
[00:03:03] Kam: you’re trying to figure out something to do or occupy your time or which I never have that problem, so if that’s you. Uh, I’ve always told my kids boredom does not exist. Like being bored is not a thing that’s it’s just because you are not looking in the right places. I am never bored. I always have something to do.
[00:03:28] Kam: And I don’t know if I have ADHD or what, but I can always come up with a hobby, that kind of thing. Anyway, when I was listening to these six and seven, seven figure business people, I discovered part of my problem was I don’t think they’re answering texts from teachers or responding to emails from the schools or appointments, uh, appointment confirmations, that kind of thing.
[00:04:05] Kam: So when you are not the primary caregiver in your home, and this is honestly, this is for kids, or if you’re helping to take care of a parent, or maybe I know some people are taking care of a sibling because maybe they can’t live on their own.
[00:04:24] Kam: Regardless, there’s something inside of you that God has placed there and you know it, you’ve always known it, or, uh, it’s come to light in the last few years and you just can’t shake it. I always knew that there was something in me to own a business.
[00:04:48] Kam: So over the last few years, uh, my life has been anything but boring. My therapy came from building the business that I currently run on the computer and creating this agency online where I have some control over what is going on in that world.
[00:05:14] Kam: As I said, I have three adopted children and three biological. All of them are within the same ages. Currently we have three adult children, and it has not been an easy journey, which I can talk about that on another episode this one though, this episode is, I wanna speak to that thing, that dream and that vision that God put on your heart, that God placed in you.
[00:05:47] Kam: This morning if you woke up and there’s air in your lungs, he’s not done with you. Go out there and sparkle and live your best day. Don’t live your best life. We can only do one day at a time. So, I have eight tips that I have put together that I’ve done in my own life that I just wanted to share.
[00:06:12] Kam: When God created you with something and put something in your heart, then you have to know that it’s there for a reason and a lot of times because our lives get so chaotic and we’re trying to adjust and readjust to what’s going on around us, sometimes those dreams and those visions can get buried. They can get lost.
[00:06:38] Kam: Whatever it is, don’t give up on it. Don’t let life kind of steam roll it out. And I would even say those battles where you’re just, you’re exhausted, you’re laying there in the middle of the battlefield and you’ve got your armor on, but you’re bleeding through it and it’s dinged up and
[00:07:03] Kam: and somebody, you know, the enemy comes over and kicks you in your armor and you just wanna lay there. I get those times too. I’ve had those times. I’ve had a lot of those times. But don’t give up on your vision.
[00:07:21] Kam: The definition of vision is the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom, and I love that so much.
[00:07:32] Kam: I don’t, There’s just something about the word imagination that I love, and I just keep that together, your vision with imagination. Don’t lose your imagination. Don’t lose your vision. Don’t lose your dream.
[00:07:50] Kam: I’ll bet if I asked everybody right now what your dream and your vision is, or maybe it was for your life and things changed, but what is a dream that you have in your heart of hearts? I’ll bet you could come up with something and honestly, I would love to hear it. If you have a dream or a vision, let me know what that is.
[00:08:13] Kam: Recently I was talking to a friend and we discovered that we both. Kind of excelled in our careers very early in life at a very young age. We both had good work ethic, we were trained very well and there was something in us to run businesses.
[00:08:33] Kam: And me personally, I had dreams and ambitions of running Claire’s boutique. I don’t know if there’s a Claire’s where you are, but it’s a very somewhat juvenile ish. Earring store, jewelry store, uh, it’s, it’s an amazing store. If you are a junior high girl, let’s just put it that way. But I became a manager and wanted to, had my sites on running, at least being a vp, and my course changed and decided to marry the man that I loved instead and follow him across the country.
[00:09:19] Kam: So that dream changed, but the desire to run a business never went away. It just looked different. And so fast forward a few years and you have an online agency, and she had done a very similar thing. She had been she had been managing another job another business and now manages an office building.
[00:09:52] Kam: The funny thing is we’re both technically stay at home moms. We just have a lot of things going on, and it occurred to me that we’re still living out our visions just as moms. and eventually we’re not going to be moms of little people and we’re not gonna be moms of teenagers.
[00:10:14] Kam: These guys are gonna be out on their own doing their own thing, and we have to have something that we can call our place, our thing. . And so this is kind of where these eight tips came in, and I hope they help you. And if you have any other tips, please absolutely let me know. So here are the eight tips to protecting your vision.
[00:10:45] Kam: Number one, First and foremost, be kind to yourself. , and this is kind of like taking time away for yourself, for having those moments. Even if you have little people running around your feet, if you can just take a moment and it, even if it’s a candy bar in the grocery store parking lot, I’ve done that actually I’ve done that recently and I have teenagers, so all of you moms with little people, I totally get it. And if they’re asleep, that was my favorite time.
[00:11:21] Kam: I would just go for a ride or I would park next to a stream or river or lake. Water was always my place to go, to just go and I would just sit there and pray or relax or go through a drive through and grab a coffee and you know something. A little fruit for a drink, whatever it is, and just sit and let them sleep. Or sometimes we’d, like I said, we’d go for a drive and they could sleep. It was quiet. But then there’s other times when I didn’t have them. With that, I would get myself a little treat and or a little snack, or I don’t suggest buying a whole cake.
[00:12:08] Kam: Maybe just a little candy bar. Let’s not go overboard . But, uh, another thing that you could do is include them in it. Take a moment. And color. You don’t have to color with your kids. I mean, there’s adult coloring books that you can get and or even if you want to make it a time where you have your own coloring book and they have theirs. If that’s the case, you know where they, they’re at that point that they just don’t wanna let you go. They don’t want you out of their site. I get that too. I had one of those.
[00:12:48] Kam: I follow a gal on Instagram. Her name is Jamie ak, and the whole reason I started following her, and I don’t think she’s done it in a while, which is sad, I miss it, but she would do live videos on Instagram from pantry closet and she would be in there hiding from her two vandals is who she, what she called them.
[00:13:14] Kam: And because they had adopted to little people and they were about the same age, they were within months of each other. And even you could hear a couple of videos that they were outside the door, um, wondering what she was doing. And she was doing a live video from the closet and she was snacking on whatever she had in the pantry.
[00:13:38] Kam: and that, to me, it resonated so much because that was where I was too. I was staying in the bathroom a little bit longer, or trying to find places where I wasn’t found. So we had three little people all under five. And so I really related to where she was with her vandals and that just, that was so funny to me.
[00:14:06] Kam: But it is something that I eventually did. I would hide in the closet, even if it’s to just take a moment. I would also recommend singing. Singing is just something that you can do. Um, even if you’re not very good at it, it’s okay. That’s all right. Sing dance, Let it Go. It’s that whole sing, like nobody, nobody hears You dance like nobody’s watching.
[00:14:36] Kam: Is that how that goes? I don’t know. I know there was a, there was a saying a while back, so. anyway, so the whole, just be kind to yourself. Just be sure that you’re, maybe if you’re in the shower, take a little bit longer. Just relax, breathe. Remember, you can breathe and they need you to breathe. They need you to do that. Those little people, those bigger people, they’re looking to you for that strength, and they need you.
[00:15:09] Kam: So number two. Tip number two is even if you have to do your vision and dream on a part-time basis, try doing it as a side hustle. Uh, if, if owning a business is your vision or dream, that kind of thing. For me as an entrepreneur, I, I did do it as a side hustle. I was working full time and created a, I, I’m also a seamstress, and so I made a, a. Side hustle, sewing business, and it was fine. I, that’s not something that I enjoy doing, alterations and tailoring, but it was something that I could at least sink my teeth into, do something on the side.
[00:16:02] Kam: And I did start doing crafts and going to craft shows because I absolutely adore going to craft markets and craft shows. Both as a vendor, but also kind of as a stalker. I’m one of those weird people that I’ll go to a craft show just to get ideas for stuff that I probably will not make, but I love talking to the vendors if I’m not one.
[00:16:29] Kam: Well, no, that’s not true. I like talking to the vendors regardless, so, and I always make friends. I’m that one kid on the playground who’s always like, Hi, what’s your name? My kids are always asking me Now, did you know them? Nope. But I love talking to people. So I would go to craft shows as a vendor. I would take my tables of stuff.
[00:16:50] Kam: I would make up a bunch of stuff, and I can’t walk into a hobby lobby without thinking, Hey, I should make like a hundred of those and sell. I can’t just make one to enjoy and, you know, put it on my wall or on my couch or whatever. Nope. It has to be a, And that just goes back to the, to the dream and the vision that God put in me.
[00:17:12] Kam: I have, I don’t know that I have ever been able to do a craft where I just enjoy it. It’s, it’s a bizarre sickness, I think, But it is what it is. So that would be my, my second tip. Try to do it even if it’s on a part-time level, just to kind of dip your toe in the water type of thing.
[00:17:42] Kam: Number three kind of goes along with that. It’s just start, start somewhere. When I after we adopted and we had a lot of chaos going on, we had a lot of behavior issues that my husband and I just quite frankly weren’t prepared for, and I can talk about that on another podcast, but I felt like there was a lot of things out of my control and getting online and creating this business was something that I had control of.
[00:18:23] Kam: And so it was a nice place for me to go. It was organized, it was how I wanted it, and, but I also didn’t have the equipment that. A lot of people, well, quite honestly, that I do now. I started with a laptop and a corner in my bedroom. We didn’t have a large house, so I literally was in the closet in my bedroom and it wasn’t a ver very big bedroom.
[00:18:59] Kam: I eventually expanded out into the room so, so I could at least. In the room as and have my clothes still remain in my closet. So there was expansion but still had a laptop. And anybody who knows computers knows that a laptop doesn’t go as fast as a computer, as a pc but that’s where I started. And networking and just kind of getting out there.
[00:19:31] Kam: I would watch any course I could that was on YouTube. I wanted to basically use what I had already learned in my career, kind of being in an office setting. I had done that quite a bit along with retail. I didn’t really wanna get back into retail, but I knew the office setting I could do on a computer.
[00:19:55] Kam: So I started networking with people that could use a virtual assistant, and I reached out to people like our karate instructor, and we ended up trading services. I had, like, most of the kids were in karate at one point, but I, we couldn’t afford the lessons. We started trading services and I would do his inventory, emails, notices if he was closed, uh, that kind of thing.
[00:20:30] Kam: And so I was able to kind of build up some wisdom and knowledge in that, how to do stuff. I figured out what I didn’t like to do, and so it just kind of helped to teach, teach myself and figure out what it was, what the direction was that I wanted to take my business. And I also only worked with clients that I enjoyed working with.
[00:21:03] Kam: We would meet, and that’s kind of the perk of being online, that you don’t have to take every client or every customer, uh, depending on, you know, what? Doing, You don’t have to work with everybody. And I did actually have one client that I had to fire. And it doesn’t matter how many emojis you add to your text, if you’re a mean person, you’re just a mean person.
[00:21:29] Kam: So those are the people you don’t have to work with. So, but I, I at least started and I couldn’t put all of the work that I, or all of the time that I wanted to into. Right way at the beginning, but then the kids, when they went back to school, I was able to put some more time into it.
[00:21:51] Kam: When I wasn’t working for a client, I was learning and going on Facebook groups, talking to people who were already in that space and just building up my, my portfolio. The karate instructor was my starting somewhere.
[00:22:14] Kam: So then my tip number four, you can include your kids in your vision and your dream. When my boys were little, I would make crafts. It was just easier for me to craft than to sew. And so I would make crafts that they enjoyed, that they liked playing with, that they thought were kind of fun. And that’s what I would take to the craft shows.
[00:22:44] Kam: And I would also take my boys to the craft shows and they would help me unload or load up and they would help. Uh, they would talk to people, you know, customers and that kind of thing. And I would only go to craft shows that I could take them or that they had a place that they could kind of go. There was one in particular that I went to that was outside and it was at a park and it was a large park and there was like a lake and we were vendors right by the lake, and so they could go down and I could see where they were and they could play by the water and or go to the park, and I knew where they were. They knew where I was.
[00:23:29] Kam: I did. However, I don’t think I made much money that time because they pretty much spent it on food and other stuff. Unfortunately, somebody had figured out that they should bring marshmallow shooters. I don’t, like I said, I’m pretty sure I did not make any money that show because they spent all of my all of my profit, so but either way, it was time that we spent together. So, and they learned some work ethic at the, at the same time.
[00:23:59] Kam: So you can include them in what it is that you’re doing. As long as it’s safe for them and, and there’s opportunities, go for it. Take ’em along with let ’em see, because you never know, they might grow up to be entrepreneurs as well.
[00:24:16] Kam: So the number five, my tip is don’t share your dream and your vision with just anybody. And I say this because I want you to guard that dream because a lot of people, May not be vindictive or, you know, their hearts, uh, aren’t out to hurt you, but you might have a great idea that you don’t get to for a couple of years, but they have time to get to your idea. And so I would just be careful who you share dreams and ideas and visions with.
[00:24:59] Kam: Some of us have some, you know, new ideas, great ideas, maybe not like a invention, but just a, an idea for a business. And I have actually seen, not because I shared with the wrong people, but uh, just the timing was off and my idea maybe happened for somebody else. So I would just caution to share with people that you trust, People that you know, you know, that you know, and I would just even limit to your spouse or uh, like I said, a friend, a close friend that maybe shares the same type of entrepreneur spirit that you do.
[00:25:53] Kam: Somebody who’s going to understand that you’re thinking outside the box. You’re not wanting to punch a time clock. Not everybody is like that, and not everybody will think that way. There are a lot of worker bees. We need those people, we have to have them for our society to function, but they do not get the entrepreneur spirit. So if that is your dream and your vision, I would just caution you.
[00:26:22] Kam: If you wanna be a farmer and you were raised in the city and your parents work at a bank and a factory, or they’re, they punch a time clock or whatever, they’re probably not gonna understand why you wanna move out to the country and be a farmer. They love you, but people just don’t, They don’t understand.
[00:26:51] Kam: And the last thing you wanna do is have somebody pop a hole in the bubble of your vision and your dream. There are a few things that are more deflating than having your dream and your vision, having somebody kind of walk all over it. I know when, even when we decided to have kids and names were a big thing, we wouldn’t tell names until the kid was born. Here’s the name, and if they didn’t like it, that’s too bad. It’s already done. But prior to that, first of all, Aimes get stolen all the time. Even by, uh, family, I’ve seen that happen.
[00:27:44] Kam: The same is true uh, when we decided to have more than two children, we didn’t tell anybody until we were already pregnant. And then when we decided to adopt, We didn’t tell anybody until we had already filed the paperwork because by that time, nobody could tell you, talk you out of it. Nobody can tell you you’re crazy for doing it or for wanting to do it, or for making that choice too late already done. So anyway, that would be my number five.
[00:28:20] Kam: So number six tip is have or find a community that does understand your vision and your dream. Surround yourself with those people that do understand that, um, if you’re currently with, um, a community of friends that maybe they’re all single or they’re married but don’t want to have kids for a while or they are they have kids, but they have no dream of, of having a business or something to that effect. That, uh, please keep those friends, those are probably dear friends, but try to find other friends that also agree the, you know, What you’re trying to do, that you’re trying to build a family and a business and this whole argument between, you know, if you stay at home or you, if you work outside the home, that shouldn’t be a thing.
[00:29:30] Kam: We’re, we’re just moms. We’re trying to do the best we can with what we have. So try to find friends, acquaintances, network with however, colleagues, however you wanna call it, but a community of people that, that get it. Right now, I am in a community of obviously website designers and podcast creators because of the field of my agency.
[00:30:02] Kam: That kind of came by accident, but, There’s a comradery there because we all kind of understand that we have these business businesses online and our spouses, the majority of our spouses do not understand it. My husband works and he’s perfectly happy with going to work. In fact, I think he needs to go and and work just so he has that separation of work and home space.
[00:30:36] Kam: Me, I’ll be honest, I’m still trying to figure out that whole difference between home and workspace. I currently don’t know that I have much of a difference, so that’s one of the things that I’m trying to work on and differentiate. And when you have, when you’re a mom and you have a space and an office in your home, and you’re working, trying to stay focused on your task.
[00:31:08] Kam: I have had to put notes on the door not to come in. Otherwise, if I don’t, I will have. Teenagers in here asking when you know the food is gonna be ready or asking to help them find a bank that they should go to, or, you know, different adulting things. And honestly, I’m in a place right now in my life that that’s fine too, because I don’t want this business to take over where my kids need me and I wouldn’t trade the fact that they need me for anything.
[00:31:50] Kam: So I know that they won’t always be here, that eventually they do move out and that will make me sad. So I kind of clinging to those moments. However, it can be very distracting, and so I have to find a community for myself. That and I’m, I’m building it I’m, you know, finding those people and it’s a whole lot easier after I will say that’s probably the one good thing that came out of 2020 is that there’s more of an online community base. There’s more opportunity to find those. You know, other, other people at the park that we wanna hang out with. So, um, if, if you wanna say it that way.
[00:32:47] Kam: So if you need help finding a community, Obviously there’s also al always social media, but we also have a community in, uh, the vsm virtual Straight Market that we are building specifically for this purpose, to bring crafting moms together. And so if you need information, it will be linked at the end of the podcast. I will have it translated. And not translated. I’ll have it transcribed. There we go, and I will have all the links in there. So if you need a community, let us know and we’ll help you out. But try to find somebody who you can relate to and gets you. That’s the most important part.
[00:33:41] Kam: So number seven, my tip for saving your vision is prioritization. The success of your vision doesn’t have to come at the cost of your family. It can grow as slow as you need it, as fast as you can. If you’re a mom, then be a mom. That’s okay. That is totally okay. I currently, in August, had this brilliant idea. And it’s still a good idea, but it’s just shorter. I woke up one morning and I thought, Hey, in another few days, it’s gonna be a hundred days until the week of Black Friday.
[00:34:28] Kam: And I thought, Okay, I’m gonna get that ready. So I created a challenge and my challenge was going to be that I was going to create an online Shopify and also get my Etsy store back up and running, because again, I have these crafts and stuff that I didn’t sell at the craft shows before when I was doing them.
[00:34:54] Kam: So I restarted my Etsy store, woke it back up, started Shopify. Was going to market this and show you how you could do it and I gave myself a hundred days on doing it. And then by the, by the end it will be the, um, week of Black Friday. And so my goal was to have a big sale on Black Friday. Which is still a thing.
[00:35:29] Kam: I can still do that , but um, I’m just down to 50 days instead of a hundred because in that, uh, timeframe between then and now, I, again, with our adopted kiddos, we have had some issues and we have the youngest has some serious issues. and that has been very trying for our family. And so he has taken the majority of my free time, Brain power, extra thought, whatever it was.
[00:36:13] Kam: He took that time and so I had to kind of make a decision that I was going to drop the ball on the a hundred day challenge, and as much as I hate doing that, I still have to realize that I am the, I’m the mom. I’m the one at home that takes care of the doctor’s appointments and answers the texts and answers the emails, and has to go pick him up when he has a bad day at school.
[00:36:48] Kam: And I’m the one that does. Now, unfortunately, unfortunately, we have been able to get him some help outside of the home. And so that is where he is currently. So I have a little bit of free time, um, now, which I say that loosely because I still also have four other children in the home that are currently here and that I’m still helping guide through life.
[00:37:25] Kam: And so it’s just kind of a funny dynamic. So I have to give myself grace, which leads me to tip number eight and that is I am speaking to all moms give yourself grace. Number one tip was to be kind to yourself, but number eight is just have mercy on yourself. Know that it’s not going to always be the perfect day, the the way you want it.
[00:38:02] Kam: Most of the time, my days don’t look at all the way that get up thinking, Okay, I’m going to get up today, I’m going to do this, this, and this. Nope. That’s usually when a car breaks down or somebody has a paper that needs, they need help with. And even now I have one at home that’s being homeschooled and for the most part, he’s pretty self-sufficient and is good at working on his own, but I still have to keep him accountable and we still have to do driver’s end and all of those wonderful things.
[00:38:43] Kam: So a success can look very different to someone who is not tasked with keeping, uh, another person alive, I guess is the best way to put it. So I have to remember that my success is my kids and then my business. So honestly, the fact that they come to me and they feel that they can come to me is, is a huge success to me. And we have to remember that as moms, we can’t have the same standard as the parent who goes out and either doesn’t have as many kids as we do, or they have, maybe their spouse is the one at home taking care of the kids.
[00:39:31] Kam: So they’re out building the business and making the money. And I love that. I love that they have that set up. And I know of one in particular, um, Amy Porterfield, she, that’s her arrangement. She has done an amazing job with her business and, but she only has one kid and her husband is the, the primary caregiver.
[00:39:57] Kam: And so she’s able to build this amazing business helping other online entrepreneurs, and I love that. I love that for her. But she is not where I am and cannot be where she is. It’s just impossible. And unless I sacrifice my family and I won’t do that. So I just wanna encourage those of you who are trying to do this with their arms full that it’s okay.
[00:40:27] Kam: It’s all right, mama. It We’re, we’re all here trying to just figure this whole thing out. So just have some grace for yourself. Someday, you won’t have to keep them alive someday. They’re going to get knocked down and they’re going to need you. But they’ll be able to, you know, feed themselves and take care of themselves and they’ll be able to make those decisions without your guidance.
[00:40:55] Kam: And that’s okay. That’s what we’re here to train them to do. And I remember saying that I heard a long time ago, it’s so true, and I didn’t realize it then, but I do now. The days go by so slow and you think, Oh my gosh, this house is never gonna be clean, or these people are never going to sleep or they’re never gonna move out.
[00:41:23] Kam: But the fact is the days are slow, but the years are fast and it has gone by fast for me and I’m still in it. So enjoy the time that you have with your children. Enjoy your children. Don’t deny yourself of that. Take time for that. Realize that there’s so many of us out here doing the same thing. We need to connect.
[00:41:52] Kam: Be there for each other, encourage each other. Bring each other down just because we’re at different parts of our journey. Remember what it was like to have little people if you have bigger people, when you have adult children, remember what it was like to have teenagers, like just be gracious to each other and when they get older, it’ll be easier to parent, but and they may not need you.
[00:42:22] Kam: They’ll be gone for longer periods of time, which mine are now, But I, I still struggle with wanting to build my business, create content for my website, market my business, and be there for my kids. Ultimately, my kids will win out, but for the times that I have with you and everybody in my community and on the computer like, Let’s do this.
[00:42:56] Kam: We can do this. Let’s just be there for each other. So I hope that you have an amazing day. I hope you have an amazing week, and I hope these tips have helped you. Again, if you have a dream or a vision that you just wanna share with somebody, oh my gosh, let me know cuz I love that stuff. I am basically, I’m an e.
[00:43:21] Kam: I am what Myers Briggs calls an E N F P. I am basically a unicorn, faring glitter. Everything is optimistic and I love meeting new people. I love talking to people. So please let me know what, What is your dream and your vision. Don’t lose it. Be gracious to yourself. Love on your kiddos. It’s all good. Talk to you later.